My last solo performance and by extension the last Makrotulpa performance. Pure Nord Modular put through Loopy / AUFX DUB and AUFX Space on the iPad. Sure I may be encouraged to step out for collaborations occasionally but after last night I genuinely doubt my enthusiasm for even that.
Steven the owner of Vision Gallery who is a good sort with a universe of patience.
Andy Lonsdale for giving me the time and space to bow out.
The two or three audience members who genuinely turned up for the show.
Yvan for a good chat on global standards of living and some awesome head-cleaning tones.
The synthesist from Wonderfuls who sacrificed an article of her clothing to mop up beer spilt right next to my Nord by the guitarist (see below).
The Twilight Markets for surprising me via their existence.
These little surprises make me happy to be out and sharing my music with others. Thank you all!
No Thanks to:
The rest of the audience who turned up to talk loudly through everything.
The drunk guy who decided he was more entertaining than Browning Mummery with his yelling, microphone stealing and threatening behaviour.
The synthesist from Wonderfuls who encouraged him by slavishly filming his antics as if he was some kind of genius performance artist.
The guitarist from Wonderfuls who spilled his beer right next to my Nord (don’t worry Andy it’s all working fine) and then later got all threatening and in my face because I asked Andy, in a quiet private conversation whether the drunk guy (mr Wonderful’s friend) bothered him. I’d like to think if I was intoxicated and acting crazy in public my friends would take me away and calm me down not clap and film it. You are an asshole!
The bad really outweighs the good from my perspective. The prevalence for this kinda dramatic bullshit is why I’m dubious I will ever perform live again… solo or even with collabs. I know it was always an issue but lately i’ve seen an increasing lack of respect among people in general that is extended also towards the performing musician. Why even go out when you don’t want to listen? Why not be like the majority of people who don’t even bother turning up… at least in their apathy they are directly affecting no-one. On the other hand should I expect people to care about my less than perfect performances?
For me music making was a social art – a sharing of sounds with a room full of bodies slowly tuning to your wavelength. We jammed together in private , we argued in pubs and on forums equally, and there was a sense of communal achievement. How far we have come. How lost we are now.
So where to now? Well I’m going hermit to produce some stuff without the pressure of it ever needing to be performed. Thinking about never playing live again is making me feel better already.